Accepting What God Rejects?

I felt impressed to reiterate a truth we see in the lives of various biblical leaders. God may appoint and anoint someone to a position, but unrighteousness, like pride and self-will, can cause His anointing to be withdrawn even while the appointment remains. The Bible is clear that God resists the proud and pride leads to destruction.

King Nebuchadnezzar could tell us all about that. As a matter of fact, he did in Daniel 4. There is much that could be said about this secular king of Babylon as it relates to leadership today, but for now, let us focus on what Daniel told Nebuchadnezzar in interpreting one of his dreams in Daniel 2:

"Your Majesty, you are the greatest of kings. The God of heaven has given you sovereignty, power, strength, and honor. He has made you the ruler over all the inhabited world and has put even the wild animals and birds under your control. You are the head of gold."

God exalted this worldly king for His purposes—namely judgment upon nations who turned away from Him, and to show the world that no one is greater than He is. It is true that the Lord uses whoever He wants for His purposes—not our agendas. However, this powerful king got lifted up in pride and fell hard and lower than low. Amazingly, he learned the lesson, repented, humbled himself, and was restored.

Then, there is King Saul.

Israel wanted a king because it appears God--who had sovereignly and miraculously fed, led, defended and protected them--was not enough. Neither God nor the judge/prophet Samuel were happy about their request. Take a moment to read this passage from 1 Samuel 8 where God told Samuel how a king's reign would look: 

“This is how a king will reign over you,” Samuel said. “The king will draft your sons and assign them to his chariots and his charioteers, making them run before his chariots. Some will be generals and captains in his army, some will be forced to plow in his fields and harvest his crops, and some will make his weapons and chariot equipment. The king will take your daughters from you and force them to cook and bake and make perfumes for him. He will take away the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his own officials. He will take a tenth of your grain and your grape harvest and distribute it among his officers and attendants. He will take your male and female slaves and demand the finest of your cattle and donkeys for his own use.  He will demand a tenth of your flocks, and you will be his slaves.  When that day comes, you will beg for relief from this king you are demanding, but then the Lord will not help you.”

 But the people refused to listen to Samuel’s warning. “Even so, we still want a king,” they said.  “We want to be like the nations around us. Our king will judge us and lead us into battle.”

Samuel warned them they would lose more than they gained, and the king would basically use their resources to benefit himself and his people. When they persisted, they were given what they requested.

 1 Samuel 10:1 says:

Then Samuel took a flask of olive oil and poured it on Saul’s head and kissed him, saying, “Has not the Lord anointed you ruler over his inheritance?”

In 1 Samuel 15:1, Samuel says to Saul,

  “… It was the Lord who told me to anoint you as king of his people, Israel. “

Saul was anointed for the job as king and led Israel though some victorious battles. But then he got beside himself and overstepped his bounds. Samuel rebuked him in 1 Samuel 13:13:

“You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you. Had you kept it, the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. ¹⁴ But now your kingdom must end, for the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart. The Lord has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.”

After that, Saul fought and won a battle, but he did not do it the way God instructed. He again misused his power and became self-serving. 1 Samuel 15:10-11:

Then the Lord said to Samuel, “I am sorry that I ever made Saul king, for he has not been loyal to me and has refused to obey my command.” Samuel was so deeply moved when he heard this that he cried out to the Lord all night.

Samuel then went looking for Saul, and when he asked someone where to find him, he was told:

“Saul went to the town of Carmel to set up a monument to himself; then he went on to Gilgal.” (1 Samuel 15:12)

The man who initially hid from his calling as king moved to a dangerous place of self-will and pride, putting himself at odds with God.

Samuel the prophet--who received the message that Saul would be king, then anointed, mentored, and no doubt loved him--cried all night in grief, frustration and disappointment. As difficult as it was, he had to let go and move on. 1 Samuel 16:1:

Now the Lord said to Samuel, “You have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king.”

The Lord had already moved on from Saul and had chosen someone else for the job, but He allowed Saul to remain king until his death. Samuel could not hold on to what God had now rejected.

After God's Spirit left Saul, he was tormented with an evil spirit and continued to suffer pride’s downward spiral while remaining king.

Now the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him" (1 Samuel 16:14).

He became paranoid, jealous, and obsessed with eliminating his perceived enemy – David, which led to even more acts of disobedience.

We need more Samuels, Daniels, Nathans and other men and women of God who are so connected to God and open to hear his voice that they can speak the truth and not excuse or overlook unrepentant, prideful and sinful behavior. The fact that Nebuchadnezzar, David, Saul and other leaders were chosen at some point didn't give them carte blanche to do whatever they pleased. God is holy, righteous and just. Period.

We are commanded to pray for those in authority, but what should we pray? Well, if they are going off the rails, we need to pray they will humble themselves and repent. Nebuchadnezzar repented. David repented. Saul did not. Repentance is not just saying I am sorry but making a change and going in a different direction. And if our leaders do not, we should not hold on to what God resists.

We also need more Davids who respect the leadership office even when the anointing leaves the person, trusting God to work it all out for good in His time.  

Trusting God is the key. He is not like us. He does not lie. He does not change. He will forever be holy, faithful, loving, just, true, etc. He repeatedly tells us not to put our trust in people—good or bad—because people are fickle. They are subject to all kinds of internal and external influences. God is not, so our trust is always secure in Him.

He alone is our help. He is more than enough and well able to take care of His own. Old Testament Israel did not grasp this truth and longed for a king to lead them, even though God told them the cost. I pray that we will grasp who God really is. Then we can focus on the main thing--being a unified Church spreading the gospel of the Kingdom, not a divided Church defending this world's systems.

When Law Is Not the Measure of Righteousness

“It’s the law.” “Just obey the law.” “Don’t stand in the way of law enforcement.”

These phrases are often used to imply that if a law was broken, then whatever followed was deserved, and anyone who interfered deserved the same fate.

I am a law‑abiding rule follower who believes laws are necessary for order, and I am grateful for those who serve in roles that uphold them. But experience—history, Scripture, and personal reflection—has taught me something crucial: “legal” or “lawful” is not synonymous with “good” or “right.” Consequently, in situations where the moral difference is clear, holding the Word of God as the standard, I am thankful for the courageous and compassionate helpers who stand between “law” breakers and “law” enforcement.

As a Christian mixed-race woman (my mom was Black, and my dad was a Jewish immigrant from Poland), here are three situations where helpers’ interventions have indirectly or directly impacted my life:

• MY BLACK HERITAGE.

Black people were “legally” enslaved for their lifetimes and recognized as only 3/5 of a person. In addition, it was illegal to help slaves escape. Nevertheless, enslaved people still tried to escape; and  compassionate and courageous people still helped them. One of these helpers was Levi Coffin (1798–1877), a Quaker abolitionist known as the “President of the Underground Railroad.” He and his wife helped more than 3,000 enslaved people escape to freedom, defying the Fugitive Slave Law of 1850 because they believed human dignity outweighed immoral laws.

• MY JEWISH HERITAGE.

Beginning in 1933, Nazi laws systematically stripped Jewish people of rights and citizenship. This “legal” persecution escalated into mass murder—made possible by individuals in the German government who helped create, pass, and enforce those laws. By 1941, it was punishable by death for Poles to help Jews. Still, many did. Across Europe, ordinary people hid Jewish neighbors, forged papers, shared food, and chose compassion over compliance—saving lives at an enormous cost. Unfortunately, though, five of my dad's seven siblings and their families did not survive.

•  MY SPIRITUAL HERITAGE. 

I, too, was guilty. I had broken God’s righteous law and faced a just penalty: death and eternal separation from Him. “For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). According to the law, I deserved judgment. But God, who is rich in mercy, sent Someone to stand between me and that judgment. Jesus Christ took my sentence upon Himself, offering life where death was deserved, freedom where bondage reigned.

It is scary when we make the letter of the law our only means of dealing with transgressions. Second Corinthians 3:6 states, “Who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” Legalism by itself kills.

The fruit of the Spirit  that gives life are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.

Legally, the woman who committed adultery deserved to be killed. But Jesus stepped in. He didn't condemn her, but told her to go and sin no more.

We need law and order, but we also need compassion and respect for human life.

I praise God for His love, grace, and mercy. And I praise Him for the courageous and compassionate people who stand up, step in and between to save others from injustice and inhumanity.

May we grow to reflect our Father's nature more each day, so that those who make and enforce laws, and those who intervene with injustice do it in ways that honor God.

You Can't Lose the Right to Choose, Part 2

Every minute of every day men, women, boys and girls are making decisions to do what they want regardless of the laws of the land.  People are running stop signs, exceeding speed limits, stealing, embezzling, murdering, raping, assaulting, and so on.  Are there laws against these things?  Certainly there are, but in and of themselves they do nothing to alter a person’s right to choose.  Consequently, the truth of the matter is women, men, boys and girls will always have the right to choose.  It is a God-given right, and the government cannot take it away.

Words are important—critically important—and in this abortion battle, close attention must be paid to the words that are used.  When it comes to the “right to choose,” abortion supporters use it within the context of a woman’s choice as it relates to her body.  They say that a woman should be able to choose what she does with her body.  There are bumper stickers and signs that command, “Keep your laws off my body.” 
Of course this sounds like a worthy fight, doesn’t it?  Who wouldn’t want to defend personal freedoms like what we do with our bodies, especially in America, where freedom is supposedly what makes this nation so great.  

This so-called battle for a “woman’s right to choose what to do with her body,” however, is merely a smoke-screen to cover the real issue, which is the fight to enable a woman to terminate her child’s life at will with no legal consequence.  But no one is going to say that.  Who is going to publicly support the murder of a child?  So the wording has to be changed to make the act more palatable.  Thus, we end up with the fight for the “right to choose.”  We must not get caught up in the passion and the rhetoric, but step back and look at the real underlying issues.

The fight is for choice, but not necessarily for what a woman does with her body.  It is a fight to choose her consequences also.  With every choice or decision, there are results, repercussions, consequences. It’s inherent in the decision.  It comes as a package.  

An important follow-up question, then, is why the right to choose is understood to apply only after sex has occurred, rather than before, especially given that sex is the primary means by which pregnancy occurs and involves foreseeable considerations such as partner commitment and the circumstances into which a child may be born.

You Can't Lose the Right to Choose - Part 1

I overheard a conversation in which a few of my friends were discussing how words and symbols that once had innocent or godly meanings are now used to represent various forms of ungodliness.  Take the rainbow, for instance.  God created the rainbow as a reminder that He would never again cover the earth with a flood as He did in Noah’s day.  Today, instead of this symbol reminding us of God’s promise, it is widely recognized as a symbol of LBTQ+ pride. 

A similar misrepresentation of words and symbols has infiltrated the abortion movement. What comes to your mind when you hear the words, “pro-choice?”  Do you think of someone who advocates the right to choose?  Or do you think of someone who supports abortion?  In this day and time, the term “pro-choice” automatically brings to mind someone who advocates for abortion.  “Choice” or the “right to choose” has now been misconstrued and reduced to a term that is equated with murder.

To get a better understanding of what many people are aggressively, yet blindly defending, let’s take a look at the origin of “choice.”  Where did our right to choose originate?  Who gave women the right to choose?  Was it the Supreme Court in its high and lofty role when it made the decision to legalize abortion in 1973?  Did Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, give women this special ability? Was it the National Organization of Women or another feminist group?  Was it the result of women fighting and picketing like they did for the right to vote?

To all of the aforementioned, no.  The right to choose, not how it has been redefined in this age, but in its purest sense is a gift given to mankind, both men and women, by God Himself and was exercised by the first-formed man and woman in the Garden of Eden.  Yes, contrary to what many may believe, God is pro-choice.  Please understand that I said God is pro-choice, not pro-abortion.  In and of itself, pro-choice just means “for choice.” 

God in His infinite wisdom gave us what no other earthly creature possesses--free will. Unlike the rest of creation, we humans do what we do because we choose to, not because of some basic instinct or urge.   Despite widespread claims of “I can’t help it,” we all have the right and the ability to make choices.  This right and ability originated with the Lord.

He is sovereign and powerful, so it would have been an effortless task for Him to make us automatons with no other desire than doing His will, His way.  But the pattern He chose from which to make us is His image and likeness, and this pattern includes free will.  He desires worshippers who worship Him because they choose to, not because they have to. We, as human beings, know that love and commitment are far sweeter when they flow to us out of hearts that willingly choose to love, as opposed to being coerced.  God certainly desires no less.

His desire for willing worshippers is seen in Joshua 24:15, where Joshua, the leader of Israel, set this ultimatum before the people:

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

This desire can also be seen in the ultimatum presented to Israel by the prophet Elijah in I Kings 18:21:

And Elijah came unto all the people and said, How long halt ye between two opinions?  If the Lord be God, follow him:  but if Baal, then follow him.  And the people answered him not a word.

His stance on choice is also seen with angels.  He created them, but in doing so, He also gave them the freewill to choose whether or not to serve Him.  Eventually, one-third of the angels in heaven exercised their freewill to rebel against God, pledging their allegiance to Satan and joining him in his fall.

Deuteronomy 30 further confirms the fact that God is pro-choice.  Verse 15 says,

See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil.

Then, verse 19 says,
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

In these two verses of scripture, God is setting before His people a list of options from which they can choose:  life, death, blessing, evil and cursing.   In doing this, He is allowing them to exercise their ability to choose the direction of their lives.

Thus, we do not possess the right to choose because our country’s government passes a law giving us that right.  We will always have the ability to exercise choice regardless of what the government does because God created us with this wonderful ability.  So, please understand this one important point:  Laws banning abortion do not take away a woman’s right to choose. Continued in part 2 . . .

Don't Let Trouble Keep You Out of Church

This past weekend I watched one of my favorite movies, Rocky IV.  Actually, I love Rocky I, II, and III too.  I mention this because in preparing to write this article, it dawned on me how some aspects of life parallel boxing.  It appears the Apostle Paul thought so too.  The Amplified Version of 1 Corinthians 9:26, says, “I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary.”  He uses the boxing metaphor to describe how we fight life’s battles. 

Yes, life has its battles, and they can be downright tough!  In addition to the usual bouts with sickness, death of loved ones, broken relationships, financial straits, unemployment, haters, depression, and other circumstances, there are those extraordinary, I-cannot-believe-this-is-happening occurrences which suddenly appear threatening to knock us out.

Throughout my life, I have had my share of these painful blows.  The force behind the punches sometimes knocked the wind out of me.  At other times, I got pushed against the ropes.  Some hits have knocked me down, and I have even come close to the full count while sprawled on the mat; but the Lord graced me to do a “Rocky Balboa.”  It may have looked like I was down for the count, but I was never knocked out.  I got back up.

Thinking about how Rocky’s much larger and built-Ford-tough opponent, Drago, pummeled him blow after blow, brought to mind similar circumstances that tried to beat me down.  Yet, just like Rocky, I emerged victoriously.   Not easily, but victoriously.  Bearing a few cuts and maybe a black eye, but victorious nonetheless.  I don’t know how Rocky won, but without a doubt, I know the Lord Jesus graced me to be the victor!

I am not unique.   We are all subject to life’s battles.  I Peter 4:12 (NLT) admonishes, “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.”  We should not be surprised when faced with trials.  They are going to come.  BUT, I Corinthians 15:57 (AMP) says, “But thanks be to God, Who gives us the victory [making us conquerors] through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  With Jesus as our Lord, we are also destined to win.   He’s provided us many strategies to overcome, but there is one I want to focus on in this article. 

In my 48 years of being saved, I have witnessed a tactic of the enemy to which many Christians succumb when fighting a battle--they STOP going to church.  I cannot stress this enough:  when going through battles, even the extraordinary-looking kind, it is vital to KEEP GOING TO CHURCH!  This is assuming you attend a church where the Spirit of God moves, and the truth of God’s Word is taught and preached.  If you are not in a church like that, please find one.  

I know “church” is becoming less popular in our culture.  People are resistant to “organized religion” or anything that resembles the norm or how their parents or grandparents worship.  Nevertheless, the church is God’s heart.  The church is not a building; it is a congregation of people. In fact, the word “church” comes from the Greek word “ekklesia” which means “called out assembly.” 

It’s through God’s church that we are nourished, nurtured and sustained.  Ps. 92:13 (KJV) states, “Those that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.”  Getting your roots planted deeply into the house of God helps give you the tenacity, stability and strength necessary to overcome your battles.  You will be like the trees standing after enduring hurricane force winds because of their deep roots.  They don’t blow away with every opposing wind.  In Jeremiah 3:15 the Lord promises to give us pastors according to his heart who will feed us knowledge and understanding.  This feeding makes us grow strong.  It helps us understand who God is and who we are.  It helps us understand why we may be going through.  The worship helps us focus on God instead of our problems.  This results in our flourishing.  When you stop attending, you cut yourself off from the food of God’s Word necessary to live this life and overcome.  You also cut yourself off from the manifest work of the Spirit and the power that comes through corporate worship.  You become weaker in the fight.

Not only that, but Hebrews 10:25 (NLT) states, “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”  As the day of Christ’s return gets closer, the Lord knows the warfare will intensify.  Thus, He commands us to gather together (assemble) and encourage one another.  What better place to do this than the church?   

The five-fold ministry gifts are placed in the church to help you overcome.  Ephesians 4:12 says they are given for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.  You are part of the body, so when you expose yourself to these gifts, you are perfected and built up.  The gifts of the Spirit in I Corinthians 12 also operate in the local church to encourage, strengthen, comfort, heal, and deliver.  When you stop attending, you separate yourself from the gifts God has provided to build and strengthen you.

I know it is difficult to press your way when you are facing adversity.  When Child Protective Services attempted to unjustly terminate my son’s and his wife’s parental rights to their children, my grandchildren, my family went through hell.  The fierceness of the battle made it tough just to get out of bed in the morning, let alone go to church.  Nevertheless, every Sunday, every Wednesday, every special event, we pressed our way to the house of God.  Many times, all I could do was sit in the back of the church and cry.  But God met me there.  Every guest speaker who came to our services over a six-month period gave me an encouraging word.  My pastor’s messages spoke to the very feelings and situations I was experiencing at the time.  He fed me knowledge and understanding.  Then there were the hugs, the financial blessings, the kind words, and above all, the prayers of the saints that helped get us through.  God honored our pressing.

The devil wants to isolate you by luring you out of the sheepfold and away from the shepherd so he can weaken and pick you off.   Don’t give in to the temptation to abandon church.  Don’t starve yourself spiritually.  You need the nourishment your assembly provides to get through what you are going through.  Once you get through it, you will discover you grew stronger because you consistently fed your spirit and exercised your faith. 

Countless times in the midst of someone’s trouble, I hear these words, “I feel like giving up.”  I then ask, “What does giving up look like?”  More often than not, giving up means ceasing to pray and attend church.  My next question is, “How is that going to help your situation?  Will giving up make it better?  I would rather continue seeking God and put myself in a position to receive a word or a miracle, than sulk at home with no hope of deliverance.”

So I say to you, keep pressing.  I know it’s hard, but have the determination of Rocky Balboa.  Say to yourself, “I may get hit hard and often, but I am not stepping out of this ring.  Ultimately, through Christ, I win!”  Be planted in the house of God.

Why God Sometimes Answers No

A few years ago, one of my aunts passed away, and I, my husband (Tim), youngest son (Quentin) and newly married daughter (Kelley) were planning to drive to my hometown for her funeral.  Our family vehicle had a nine-year-old, rusted, gas-guzzling mini-van which needed over a thousand dollars of repairs.  Understandably, my ever-cautious husband preferred to make the trip in my daughter’s brand new compact car.    So about three days before departure, he kindly asked her if we could drive her car to the funeral.  To our disappointment, she politely said, “No.”  My husband then took the van to a mechanic to have some things checked out before we put it on the highway for the 280–mile day trip. 

The day before our scheduled departure, as my family enjoyed cake and ice cream around our dining room table for my birthday, Tim, in a last ditch effort, asked Kelley again if we could use her car.  She replied, “No, I think we should use the van.”  Once again, we felt let down, but respected her decision because, well, it is her car.  She can do whatever she wants with it.

We instructed Kelley to arrive at our house before 9:00 a.m. so we could be on the road by then.  She complained about that being too early, so we suggested she just spend the night with us.  She declined that as well.  We understood.  After all, she does have a husband.

The next morning, as Tim and I were getting ready in our upstairs bedroom, we heard the front door open downstairs and footsteps in the living room.  Of course, that must have been Kelley, and we mumbled that to each other as we rushed around the room preparing for the trip. 

Our bedroom door was open, but I was standing near the back side of the door and could not see anyone approaching or entering the doorway.  I heard a voice from the other side of the door saying, “You all aren’t ready yet?”  I assumed it was Kelley, but the voice did not sound like Kelley’s.  Confused, I turned expecting to see Kelley come in the room, but to my utter surprise, it was not Kelley.  It was my daughter, Christen, who then lived in New Jersey!  I screamed in shock.  Then I just wrapped my arms around her and cried for a minute.  Christen was the only one of our five children who did not live near us, so we didn’t enjoy the blessed privilege of seeing her as often as we saw our other children.

Kelley then entered the room and said, “This is why I couldn’t spend the night. I had to pick her up last night at the airport.  This is also why I couldn’t let you use my car.  There wouldn’t have been enough room for all of us.”  Out of that, I learned a valuable lesson about answers to prayers.

There are times when we pray and ask God for things—things which seem good.  Using our daughter’s brand new car seemed like a better idea than using our old problem-ridden van.  It was probably less risky and certainly less expensive to drive.  Yes, for sure it seemed like a good thing to ask.  But sometimes God says, “No,” just as Kelley did.  And sometimes that "no" is hard to take.  “Why would God say no?” we wonder in disappointment.  Maybe because He doesn’t love me.  Maybe He doesn’t care.  Maybe He just wants me to suffer.   

Kelley loves us and she cares, but she said no because she knew something better was going to happen for us, and we would need the space in the van.  She knew when we saw Christen, driving the van would not matter at all.  Our daughter was coming home, and we would do whatever was needed, even driving the van, to accommodate her.    The same holds true for God.  He does love us.  He does care.  But He knows and sees things that we do not.  He knows what we are asking for is good, but He also knows, something better is on the way.  

And of course, we made it safely to our destination and home again.

God, help us trust You.  Help us have assurance that your thoughts toward us are thoughts of peace and not of evil, and that you want to give us a hope and a future.  Oh for grace to trust Him more.

Can Married Women Really Relate to Single Women?

A few years ago, I was asked to speak to a singles group.   I cannot recall the exact topic I was to address, but it encompassed what to do while waiting for a spouse.  After my presentation, one of the ladies made this comment (which I am paraphrasing):  “I’m sorry, but I just have to be real.  It is really difficult for me, a single woman who has been waiting a long time to be married, to receive from a woman who has been married a long time.  You have a man.  I don’t think you can relate to what we feel or have to deal with while waiting for a husband.”  Her comment did not catch me off guard because I have heard single women say this before, although not directly to me.  Because of this, I was surprised the singles group leader even invited me to speak. 

I married at the age of 22, so my wait for a spouse was relatively short compared to many of the singles in this particular group.   At the time of this meeting, I had been married a little over 25 years and many of the women there had been waiting that long for a husband.  So her point definitely resonated with me as it relates to living single but wanting to be married.  I understood her frustration.  On the other hand, when she made the comment, a sense of frustration rose in me as well.  Part of this frustration stemmed from the fact it appeared the message God sent to help them was being rejected because of my marital status.    The truth of God’s Word is powerful.  It provides direction, instruction, hope, encouragement, deliverance and healing.  And if we hear and receive it, it will make us free.  We cannot get caught up in the messenger because God will use whoever He wills to get a Word to us.

The bulk of my frustration, however, resulted from the belief I was unable to relate to singles-in-waiting.  This was particularly troublesome in light of the issues I had faced over the years.   To clarify this, allow me to share my response to this comment.

Getting married is not by any means the only goal or dream a woman can have.  Yes, I am married, but I have other God-given goals and dreams which are vitally important to me.  And just like some are still waiting on a spouse, I am still waiting for those dreams to manifest.  They look at me and see I have something they desire--marriage.  Conversely, I look at them and they are doing things I dream of doing and have things God showed me I will have.  I understand they have to fight the difficult temptations of giving in and having sex outside of marriage or compromising on God’s standard for a spouse.  Yet I also have to fight temptations to take shortcuts or compromise or step outside of God’s will to get what I desire.  In addition, we both resist the same spirits of despair, fear, hopelessness, and doubt because of the seemingly unending wait. 

Single ladies, this article is not about me.  I wrote it because, first, I want you to understand that in some ways (not every way) a married woman can relate to your singleness struggles.   Do not tune out a woman’s counsel just because she is married.  While the specific promises we are waiting on may be different, the struggle is similar.  Not only is the struggle similar, but the principles of overcoming and getting victory in these situations are also similar. We are not on opposing teams. We are all fighting the same enemy with the sole evil purpose of stealing, killing and destroying, and he tends to use the same weapons in our different situations.  The key to our victory is always God’s Word, so have an ear to hear.

Second, everything in life does not fall into place when you say, “I do.”  Once that dream of marriage is fulfilled, there may still be goals or dreams for which you must wait.  It will be necessary to continue to exercise and build upon the principles that got you through extended singleness as you progress through fulfilling God’s purpose and plan for your life. 

Lastly, in summary, I just want to let you know some of us married women really can relate to the wait!